Lying is inherent in children, but isn't always a bad thing. In fact, it could even be taken as a good sign. Lies are difficult to pull off; to be able to believably lie, people have to already understand the way the world works in order to corroborate whatever figment of imagination they create. In children, that would mean that they have to show aptitude in reading different situations in a more complex manner.
Children start out believing that everyone shares the same beliefs. Those same beliefs are grounded in reality, parroting what is objectively observed. Because of this, children of around three years old do not even think of deceiving others.
In an experiment studying the relationship between lying and self-awareness, children were observed to be more likely to lie when they understand that beliefs could be false rather than believing that minds only mirror copies of reality. Children participating in the study were given experiences to speed up the development of their self-awareness and the subjectiveness of reality. The result was that the children started to deceive in ways they previously would not typically do.
The children were initially tested on their moral conceptions on lying. At the beginning of the experiment, the children were sorted according to different levels of understanding. Children who displayed control over inhibitions and their beliefs were sorted to first-order understanding, while children who displayed the ability to support their lies fell under second-order understanding. Because the children were observed to be linked to their preliminary beliefs of morality, the results of the experiment saw how a child's talent for lying depends on their social and cognitive faculties.
In other words, lying teaches children to be smarter.
In a similar study, a group of children were observed to be willing to win treats through deception once they had begun to understand the subjective nature of rules according to their situations.
While lying is usually discouraged among children, this behavior does shed more light into how minds in work in general. Lying has been shown to aid children in communicate and develop their relationships with their peers more constructively.
Theory of Mind has long been acknowledged as a key tool in a child's ability to functionally socialize, these functions extending to everyday experiences such as collaborating in teams and showing sympathy for their peers.
The role of adults in developing such skills in children, then, is in creating opportunities for children to explore the relationship between teaching and the theory of mind. For instance, having children teach their peers on how to play games the other students are not familiar with results in significant improvement in memory and cognition. The older the child is, the longer and more nuanced they could explain the rules and the more likely they would correct their approach to cater to their mentee. This shows that not only do children improve in navigating different social situations depending on their mental faculties.
The takeaway from this is that if a child starts showing skill in deception, it is a sign that they are ready for more nuanced interactions. While this does not necessarily mean children should be encouraged to lie, it might be a good idea to allow them to explore this in a more productive environment, such as tutoring and play.
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