Deadly Erection-Giving Spider Crawls Out of Banana In Bristol

Editors often hype up headlines in that dog-eat-dog world of online reporting. But sometimes, nature provides a story so absolutely bananas that you can't go wrong. Such was the case in Bristol, England, when a bag of fruit shipped in from Brazil was found to be infested with a dangerous spider whose bite can give a man a four-hour-long erection. You can't make this stuff up...

The story was first reported by the local Bristol Post after Maria Layton, 43, mother of two, discovered an unusual marking on a banana from a bag of fruit her husband had bought from Tesco.

Now this isn't exactly surprising. It's a bit of a cliché that when a wife asks her husband to go grocery shopping, he's bound to mess up in some way. But let this be a reminder: men, check your fruit before you buy them. Knock your melons, check your apples for brown spots, and above all else, make sure your bananas are not infested with dangerous erection-giving spiders.

The strange spot Layton was seeing was an egg sac and other marks wound up being entry holes for Brazilian wandering spiders.

"The spider cocoon started to unfurl so I put it in a sealed box and put it in the freezer as I read that that is supposed to kill them," the mother explained to the Post.

Layton had apparently read up on Brazilian wandering spiders, commonly known as "banana spiders," who traditionally stalk the forests of Brazil. (Scroll to read on...)

And it's a good thing she did. Not only are these spiders frequently listed as one of the most venomous spiders in the world, they are also unusually aggressive - at least compared to the brown recluse or even the infamous black widow spider. High concentrations of their venom, which is a dangerous neurotoxin, can prove deadly, as it causes loss of muscle control and difficulty breathing. Small bites are even known to give men often painful erections that can last up to four hours. Scientists are even researching the venom's compounds as a treatment option for erectile dysfunction.

And despite that unusual trait, the spider's common name is not an innuendo. They are also known to infest the empty husks of bananas, finding the fruit an ideal home to lay eggs in and, apparently, hitch rides to Bristol supermarkets.

What's craziest about all this is that Tesco has since asked Layton to return the infested fruit so they can refund her and investigate the problem for themselves - not worrying that this could mean bringing deadly spiders back into their store.

Astonishingly, this is not even the only documented case of this happening. Just last year an unnamed family photographed a banana spider among their groceries, while in 2005 a man was actually bitten by one of these nuisances while unpacking a box of bananas in a pub in Bridgewater, England. It took him a week to recover.

Meanwhile, Layton remains worried that the spider she froze is not the only one. She had told the Post that she is unsure what to do next.

I, for one, would steer clear of bananas for a while. Leave it to spiders to ruin something as perfect as a good ol' banana split.

For more great nature science stories and general news, please visit our sister site, Headlines and Global News (HNGN).

- follow Brian on Twitter @BS_ButNoBS